30 December 2007

Farmfield finches

Still about half a dozen Brambling in the finch flock down Farmfield Lane, not an awful lot else though. The girlfriend had a couple of Woodcock at Forest Drive this evening along with two off-roading arseholes pulling doughnuts and generally carving up the top of Twmbarlwm,... I'm thinking of getting me one of these...



Apparently the Javelin is a portable anti-tank 'fire-and-forget' missile, designed for use in the hectic lifestyle of the modern anti-tank man, with lock-on before launch and automatic self-guidance.

The warhead is fitted with two shaped charges: a ‘starter’ to initiate explosive reactive armour and a ‘main’ to penetrate base armour (unfortunately there is no ‘desert’). The propulsion system is a two-stage solid propellant design which provides a minimum smoke soft launch, this complies with all EU legislation on smoking in confined spaces and ensures no contraventions of the Health Act 2006 will occur if you choose to launch it from the bar of your local pub.

The system is deployed and ready to fire in less than 30 seconds and reload time is less than 20 seconds. The gunner engages the target by placing a cursor box over the image of the target, just like Battalion Wars II on the Nintendo Wii. Unlike conventional wire guided, fibre-optic cable guided, or laser beam riding missiles, Javelin is autonomously guided to the target after launch, leaving the gunner free to reposition, reload or redo his hair immediately after launch.

The weapon has two attack modes: direct attack mode to engage covered targets, bunkers, buildings and helicopters; and top attack mode for tanks and wankers in 4x4s, in which case the Javelin climbs above and strikes down on the target to penetrate the roof where there is the least armour protection.

If it’s good enough for the 16 air assault and three commando it’s good enough for me.

5 comments:

Richard L Ford said...

Nice idea Darryl

Do you get a discount if you buy in bulk? We could also do with one over here on Severnside for the Moto-crossers.Having said that, if we gave you the coordinates of the offenders could you take them out from over there?

Rich

Darryl said...

You'll need a discount, they are quite an expensive toy, $80,000 each (batteries not included) , $40,000 for each additional missile. Mind you the MoD might be able to spare a few, they have spent over £300 million on them (must be one or two surplus to requirements).

Darryl said...

PS. They have a, rather disappointing, effective range (just 2,500m) so Gwent to Severnside interventions are a no-no. But don't worry, given our ability at dreaming up new technology to kill each other, something will be on the market soon.

Anonymous said...

If you get yourself a Questar I know a bloke who can go "A Team" on it and it'll do the same job although clearly I can't guarantee your personal safety but it will save you a few quid.....

Charles

Darryl said...

Optics mounted weaponry, there must be a market out there. Just think of the possibilities: go birding, find the rares, knock off the Ruddy Ducks/Grey Squirrels, and deter the grockles all in one go. It won't be easy, but it might just work.