27 February 2009

Roger the hybrid II

Having wasted the morning taking my G5 Powermac to the Apple hospital, I decided to waste my early afternoon on another trip to see the Rogerstone hybrid, and it went a bit like this,...

[Enter Roger the aythya hybrid, diving energetically in the canal]

Me: Mr. 'Scaup', I believe?
Roger the aythya hybrid: Yes — Scaup by name, Scaup by nature. [keeps diving]
Me: Yes... if you'd like to remain motionless for a moment, Mr. 'Scaup'. Please be still. Now, Mr. 'Scaup' you are, I believe, auditioning for the part of a free-flying sub-rarity?
Roger: Right.
Me: Now, Mr. 'Scaup', I couldn't help noticing almost at once that you are a one-winged duck.
Roger: You noticed that?
Me: I noticed that, Mr. 'Scaup'. When you have been in the business as long as I have you come to notice these things almost instinctively. Now, Mr. 'Scaup', you, a one-winged duck, are applying for the role of a free-flying sub-rarity — a role which, traditionally, involves the use of a two-winged bird.
Roger: Correct.
Me: And yet you, a unidexter, are applying for the role.
Roger: Right.
Me: A role for which two wings would seem to be the minimum requirement.
Roger: Very true.
Me: Well, Mr. 'Scaup', need I point out to you where your deficiency lies as regards landing the role?
Roger: Yes, I think you ought to.
Me: Need I say with overmuch emphasis that it is in the wing division that you are deficient.
Roger: The wing division?
Me: Yes, the wing division, 'Mr. Scaup'. You are deficient in it — to the tune of one. Your left wing I like. I like your left wing. A lovely wing for the role. That's what I said when I saw you appear. I said ‘A lovely wing for the role.’ I've got nothing against your left wing. The trouble is — neither have you. You fall down on your right.

Two things I didn't notice during yesterday's brief stop: 1. the right primaries are well and truly clipped, Gosh knows how I missed this; and 2. the bill does darken somewhat towards the base (the Pochard option looms slightly larger in the rear-view mirror).

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