Whimbrels and whimsy

Decided against a four hour drive to see Crested Lark and sauntered off down to Goldcliff for a few hours over high tide. Not an awful lot 'doing' but Hobby and Greenshank plus smatterings of White Wagtail and Whimbrel managed to slow the slide into birding torpor. Other highlights included a Swarovski-toting Mrs. Dude stringing Dunlin for Golden Plover! Before you ask, I don't know, I just don't know; what I do know is, when asked by her husband where said Goldies were, she got very snappy indeed before rapidly spouting "Oh look, there's a Redshank" in perhaps the weakest display of ornithological filibustering I have ever witnessed. I laughed on the outside, cried a little on the inside.

Due to the rather slow pace of the birding I couldn't help but drift off into the realm of day-dreams every now and again. My best examples of fanciful (some might argue mentally challenged) cerebral sojourns today were:

1. wondering whether the silicon-based life forms aboard the good ship Earth (computers, robots, Kenwood Chefs, etc.) will, at the nadir of the oncoming flu pandemic, realise their opportunity and rise up to take over the world (I bet they use poisonous gases); and
2. thinking how much fun it would be if the RSPB were to provide golf-carts to the fat, ancient or just plain lazy customers at Uskmouth to allow them to become ornithologically-challenged daleks whizzing back and fore between cafe and lighthouse, lighthouse and shop, shop and sea-wall... just take a moment to imagine...

vroom, "Is that what they call a ducky-wucky?",... whizz, "Should I be using my phone whilst driving this?",... screech "Excuse me, do you mind moving your tripod, my dog and I would like to get passed",... whoosh, "What do you mean 'flushed the bird'? If that's a euphemism, I'll have you know I haven't even visited the toilet yet",... HONK!, "Well, what's one less Canada Goose between friends?" beep beep beep "Warning, misspent RSPB funds reversing, warning, misspent RSPB funds reversing".

Phew, thank jumpin' Jehovah nobody would dream up anything quite so f**king stupid as that, eh? I mean, how would they avoid jogger/mountain bike/dog-walker/dalek pile-ups?